Good leadership skills can benefit almost any situation or relationship – even a marriage. This does not mean that one half of a couple should lay down the law or bark orders, of course. In a happy relationship, each partner should take it in turns to be the leader. If you’re concerned that you’re sitting back and letting your other half take the reins a little too much, here are a few things you can do to get back in the driving seat.
Listen More
Listening does not just mean being quiet while someone else talks. It means setting your own thoughts aside and taking the time to fully understand what is said and meant by your partner. Once you’re confident that you know where they’re coming from, the next step is to be constructive. Ask them what they would like you to do about the points they’ve raised and check what they are thinking of doing themselves. Sometimes, people find it therapeutic to talk through thoughts. They may not be looking for you to solve their problems. This is still constructive, as it’s always healthy to understand your partner’s thought processes. Consider their point of view and don’t feel pressured into agreeing with them. Remain respectful and deliver a considered counterargument if necessary. You don’t always need to resolve things on the spot. It can be healthy to put a non-urgent issue on the backburner and get on with enjoying your marriage in the meantime.
Contribute to Financial Decisions
You don’t have to be the breadwinner in order to be useful in the running of your household. Whatever you contribute to the family kitty, you can add value in other ways too. Research smart ways to save, invest or grow the money you and your partner earn. Find simple approaches to reduce your expenses, such as refinancing your student loans in order to save money. Be careful not to suggest measures that are too strict, however, as this can make you seem tight-fisted. Work on balancing fun with smart financial decisions and take all of your partner’s suggestions seriously too. Respect the balance and don’t make big purchases without consulting your other half, no matter which of you earns the most.
Keep the Balance
Selfishness is a common weakness in leaders. Try to make sure you give as much as you get. Keep track of who gets their way. Your partner might appear very giving and may seem willing to sacrifice anything for your happiness – but that doesn’t mean they always want to do this and they may simply find it easier to back down than to argue with you. This can lead to difficulties further down the line when they realize that their wants and needs have become sidelined. Even if your partner seems perfectly happy to let you take the lead, try to take note of the things they say they’d like to do and ensure that those things are done – either now or next time. Keep a mental note of the times they back down or let you have your way and make sure you try to concede as much as they do in order to keep the balance. Don’t be obsessive over this, however, as it’s not always practical.