There is a commonly used phrase for describing true depression/clinical depression: chemical imbalance. Harvard Medical School research tells us that the phrase doesn’t capture how complex the disease is. Depression doesn’t spring from a lack or oversupply of certain brain chemicals. Due to the brain’s complexity there are many possible recipes for clinical depression. These include, but are not limited to, faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, medications, and medical problems. Harvard research is of the opinion that each susceptible individual has their trigger recipe.
Yes, there are chemicals involved, your body runs on chemical and electrical processes. Many chemicals are involved, processing inside and outside nerve cells. There are billions of reactions that comprise the dynamic system that is: mood, perceptions, and life experience.
Robert Abruzzese has experienced clinical depression and was almost beaten by it, but turned around and developed a way to control it. Robert has put huge amounts of work into building a successful life for himself, literally blood, sweat, and tears.
His massive efforts were met with unexpected defeats at different stages. Robert celebrates these defeats as valuable life lessons and priceless character forming opportunities. There is no university PhD that can deliver this life wealth.
Striving Towards Life Goals
Robert is sharing his story to inspire those who may be experiencing hard times to keep pushing. Robert shares, “We often think success is a straight line. While that may be true for some, some of the greatest achievers failed their way to massive success.”
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star where the editor felt he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” And Colonel Sanders was fired from multiple jobs before he turned 40. Not one of them let those failures stand in the way of their successes.
US Army Impact
With a successful academic and sport record in college, Robert was passionately driven by 9/11 to enlist as a Marine Officer at the height of the war in Afghanistan. He was unexpectedly rejected after admitting to a pre-existing injury on his neck, back, and sternum from a motorcycle accident he sustained when he was 19. He was advised to enlist in the army, but to keep that information to himself if he wanted to serve. A month later, he successfully enlisted in the army volunteering for one of the most forward combat MOS’s (Military Occupational Specialty) available, Cavalry Scout 19D. He went through an intense 22 week OSUT training (Bootcamp/Advanced Individualized Training) at Fort Knox, Kentucky. He excelled in all areas, and his toughness earned him the label of a “bad ass killer”.
Unfortunately, unexpected challenges arrived. He started losing mobility of his legs in extreme circumstances. The heavy gear Army Soldiers are required to carry was pressing down on nerves in his neck and back. With pains shooting down his legs during a 10 mile battalion run, he began to fall out and was sent to the hospital for examination. This ultimately led to a medical discharge from the army which was devastating. Something he still thinks about to this day.
This life event has deep meaning to Robert. It was something he was very passionate about doing, and it seemed like a missed opportunity to gain respect and honor, which are some of the most important characteristics a person can have in his mind. Although he was unable to serve, he learned many valuable lessons while he was in training. The importance of not only physical toughness but also mental toughness. The ability to endure hardship and push the threshold for pain. Your mind will fail before your body does. You will shock yourself at how much you can do when you realize your mind wants to quit first, and you can continue to push and endure.
The lessons Robert learned while in training have contributed to the mentality he has now.
Battle With Depression
After army training Robert completed his final year of college and went to work in New York City. Things went well for a while, but certain obstacles like genetic vulnerability and stressful life events triggered underlying issues. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and had a long battle with its demons.
Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn’t worth living.
“The level of darkness that overtook me is something your average person just wouldn’t understand. When I talk with people about depression, often I hear that they’re very sad, maybe feel some physical pain, and they are having a tough time staying positive. The level of depression that I felt, despite my circumstances, was so deep I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t move. I would lay in bed at night hoping that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. When I say something like that, usually the other person is like, oh no, I don’t want to die… That’s the difference between a diagnosed illness, and something a normal person might feel. It is EXTREME.”
Many factors contributed to these feelings. Toxic relationships, financial stress, social pressures, drugs and alcohol. For Robert, it was a perfect storm.
“I was completely hopeless. Nothing was going right, and I thought I was doomed to suffer for the rest of my life…”
One of the major characteristics of true depression is hopelessness. When you’re in it, you just can’t imagine things turning around. It is incredibly hard to pick yourself up and stay positive. Robert felt as though happiness was something he would never experience again.
The Event That Changed Everything
One night things became too much. “I put my blessed cross around my neck, held rosary beads in my hand, and started taking handfuls of sleeping pills. I lay down and asked God to take my life.”
Robert woke up in the ER the next morning throwing up violently. “They almost had to replace my liver because I had poisoned my body so bad.”
After some time in the hospital, he was discharged. He began meeting with a psychiatrist once a week after that. The doctor had excellent credentials. He was a great guy, really smart, had worked with the military, and was someone Robert didn’t want to let down.
The condition Robert has makes him more susceptible to negative thinking, and mood disorder, especially when drugs are involved. “The first order of business was to get off any drugs that I had been taking recreationally.”
Recovery
He began replacing his negative habits with positive ones. He turned again to health and fitness. “As an athlete growing up, the gym was always a big part of my life. It is my therapy. Regardless of how I feel, whether I’m sad, angry, or feeling great, the gym is there for me to release pent up energy and aggression. I used to compete in Men’s Physique competitions, I worked at the Equinox South Beach for a while, I was signed by a fitness modeling agency, did acting, got sponsorships… so, I am highly educated and highly experienced in that field.”
During that time, he was extremely disciplined, and he knew he would have to get back to that. He began every day with a workout. “As soon as I woke up, I’d make breakfast and hit the gym. That sets the tone for the day. I’m up, moving, working on myself, and releasing endorphins… the right way!”
From there, meditation has helped him quiet his mind, and focus. Prayer is also something he incorporates. “For a while I placed all of my focus and energy on strictly Health and Wellness. I realized if that is not taken care of then everything else is out of balance.”
Comeback Season
Robert was working out every day and getting back into peak physical form. The hard work and discipline that was necessary to get back into shape carried over into many other aspects of his life. “I started eating better, drinking less, and cutting back on marijuana because they were detrimental to my physique and workouts. I started feeling better and better both physically, emotionally, and mentally. Things were moving in the right direction. People began seeing the hard work I was putting in on social media, and I started getting a lot of support. I was building momentum.”
With his health and fitness under control, he began taking on more. His therapist introduced him to Grant Cardone.
“I told him I wanted to spend half of our weekly call on emotional things, but the second half had to be on strategy and business. This lit a fire within me. I began consuming everything I could by Grant. I began reading all of his books, listening to audiobooks at the gym, doing virtual coaching…”
I don’t allow any negativity in my life anymore, and I quit all of my destructive habits replacing them with healthy alternatives. The more you do this, the more momentum builds, and the easier it becomes. I have taken it a step further and now surrounding myself with the smartest most successful people on the planet. Why not learn from the best? When at one point I was completely hopeless, I am now content with where I’m at currently, and optimistic about the future. I set high goals and believe I will achieve them, as long as I stay disciplined and continue to take appropriate action. Now, when I go to bed at night, I am really at peace, and it’s a pretty amazing feeling.
Defeating The Demon
Through all this, he realized just how powerful your thoughts really are and that, if you work on it, you are able to control them. “I feed my mind with positivity and education all day now. ‘Knowledge craves more knowledge.’ It’s an obsession.”
“I’m significantly happier now doing work and being healthy compared to when I was going to a different club, bar, restaurant every night. I think it’s important for somebody to mention that because I see so many people getting caught up in that scene. The effects of drugs and alcohol last a couple hours and then you crash and feel horrible. Now that I’m back living a healthy life I feel good 24/7 and the better I do with my health and wellness and work the happier I become.”
He also began learning more about how the brain works. While it might seem obvious, you can train it. “Feed it positivity, feed it knowledge, think positive thoughts, surround yourself with positive people, content. Everything you consume should improve your mood, your knowledge, your bank account.”
“I may be extreme now, but that is what it takes for me to be successful. I feel that I am now in control of my life, and I want to help other people make it out of the darkness and get to this point. I will lead by example. Talk is cheap. Follow me @RobbyAbz.”
Advice From The Demon Slayer
Here are some tips from Robert for people going through a tough time:
- Lean on your support circle, reach out to them.
- Believe in a greater power, whether it’s a Christian God or whatever your choice is, believe in it.
- Focus on health and wellness: If that’s off everything is off
- Remember, exercise releases endorphins and allows more 5HTP across the blood-brain barrier. This is free medication (anti-depressant)
- Hire a therapist if you need to talk to someone. We have coaches for all aspects of life, wouldn’t it make sense to talk to someone about your mental health?
- Your body is your temple. It’s where you live. It’s how you experience life
Robert has advice for those in the support circle as well: Be as supportive as you can, let the sufferer know that you are there when they need you, but show up when the call comes! Sometimes all that person needs is a good conversation, and for someone to tell them things are going to be ok.
- Again, focus on all the positives. “Gratitude is the key to happiness.”
- Be grateful for what you have now, while you work for more
- Be a TRUE friend to the person who is suffering.
- Allow the person to be alone as they will need some alone time.
- Listen
How does Robert stay motivated? “I’ve seen such tremendous results of the efforts I’ve been putting in lately, I was to see just how far I can take it. Again, I consume positive and motivational content on a regular basis that keeps me motivated”
Robert has fought depression and rules it now. Follow Robert on his Instagram account for more inspiration.